Anger can be a signal for unmet needs
- Nanci Deutsch
- 4 days ago
- 1 min read
Very often, anger can be a signal for unmet needs. Have you ever sent a text, to your partner, a close friend, a client, or a colleague and didn’t get a response? Maybe they didn’t reply right away, or not on your timeline, or maybe not at all. And suddenly, you notice yourself feeling irritated, triggered, even angry. Your mind starts racing: “Why haven’t they gotten back to me?” “What’s going on?” “Am I being ignored?” You might start blaming them, or turn that blame inward, and before you know it, you’re more upset than the situation seems to call for.
What’s really happening in that moment? Your anger may be signaling an unmet need. The need to be heard, acknowledged, valued, or loved. When those core needs go unmet, especially in moments where you expect connection, anger can rise up as a protective response. Anger isn't bad, it’s often a messenger.
The key is learning to listen to what it's trying to tell you. Next time you feel it, try pausing and asking: “What do I really need right now?” That awareness can shift everything.
Empowered Ways to Deal with Yours and Others’ Anger on the newest episode of:
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